How noticing and checking in can help someone in a difficult moment

Gwen* was out running with her husband on Boxing Day afternoon along a quiet, slightly isolated route. They’d passed a few walkers and cyclists, but it wasn’t a busy path. As they ran, something caught Gwen’s attention - a man standing alone, looking unsettled, as if he was setting something up. Something about it didn’t sit right with her.

“I looked and thought, that’s bizarre. As we passed, I turned to my husband and said, ‘I don’t like the look of that. I think we need to do something.’”

They turned back. When Gwen approached and asked if he was okay, the man kept his headphones in and avoided eye contact. She gently encouraged eye contact and signalled for him to take his headphones out so they could talk, and he did, though he still didn’t want to speak.

Gwen stayed calm and grounded.

She let him know she would stay nearby, that he didn’t have to talk, and even made light conversation about needing a rest from the run. Her aim was simple: to stay present, to give him space, and to show he wasn’t alone.

Gwen was also mindful of her own safety. The man was physically larger, and she later reflected that if she hadn’t been with her husband, she might have kept a safe distance and called for help instead. But with her husband beside her, she felt able to stay.

Bit by bit, the man began to open up. Gwen asked if he was having a difficult day, and he nodded. With it being Boxing Day, she gently asked if it was a family issue. He said yes. He shared that he was estranged from his ex‑partner, hadn’t been able to see his children over Christmas, and felt responsible for the situation. He’d been drinking to cope.

After a while, Gwen and her husband encouraged him to walk with them. They moved together towards a busier area and stopped at a bus stop on the main route.

Gwen asked if she could call someone for him. He gave her a name, she tried calling, but the phone wouldn’t connect. Her husband checked and realised the man had removed his SIM card.

Using her husband’s phone, Gwen eventually reached another friend. The relief on the other end of the line was immediate. The friend explained that the man had sent worrying messages and people had been searching for him. He arrived within ten minutes. He turned out to be a paramedic and was calm and reassuring.

Later, Gwen received messages from both friends and, a few days on, from the man himself. He thanked her for stopping, for noticing, and for staying with him. He told her he was glad to be alive.

Gwen reflected on how different things might have been if she hadn’t trusted her instincts:

“There were other people running and cycling past him. I kept thinking, how long had he been there with people passing by? Without the training, I don’t think I’d have had the confidence to stop.”

*Names have been changed at the request of the person sharing their experience, and a stock image has been used to protect privacy.

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